Harry Potter Tattoo

I didn't draw this, but is Harry Potter art and it is on my body, so I think it counts. Nursing school has taken away all of my time!

Art by Nate Click.

Stoker vs. Coppola

I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn't enticed the the romanticism of vampire lore. The ageless love of an established male character and the animalistic hunger for human flesh centered around the female bosom and wrist are just a few things that draw women into this stereotypical dynamic. Even though terrible teeny-bopper versions of this simple concept have bastardized the genre as of late, I have recently discovered that the Twilight series is not necessarily the first form of media to do so.

I began reading Bram Stoker's Dracula this past month, and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Even though there are several grammatical and dialectical differences, I find it to be one of the most interesting and innovative pieces of literature to date. Who knew that one hundred and fifty years ago they used plural verb conjugations for singular subjects? But, I digress; this isn't an English blog, after all.

In Bram Stoker's novel, the narrative is written out in diary entries of several characters, boat ledgers, personal letters, and newspaper articles. This format made me wary at first, and took me a long time to read through one solid plot event. Something that would be one chapter long in a normal novel lasted three times as long just so that everyone's point of view was expressed. The further I got into this book, however, the less I noticed the choppy form of writing. The more I read, the more I felt connected to each character as they lost their minds or a loved one. What an amazing way to write a book. What an intimate form of media!

No wonder this story is such an iconic tale in horror. No wonder movies such as Interview With the Vampire, Blade, and Underworld were all created to keep this supernatural high going through our cinematic society. No wonder the movie Bram Stoker's Dracula was made in 1992 to bring this imaginative delight to the silver screen.  Bringing classic novels to films is something I have always enjoyed, and when I finally sat down to watch this one, I had surprisingly mixed emotions.

I am only three fourths of the way through the book right now, but I immediately noticed a major thematic difference from the book. Although the general storyline and characters are all the same, Hollywood decided to add in the most cliche plot line of all... a love story. Now, I don't know if anyone knows where the legend of Dracula actually came from, but it was NOT from a fucking love story. Vlad Dracula, or Vlad The Impaler, was the prince of Wallachia, and tortured victims of opposing countries by impaling them on stakes and letting them bleed to death. He was known to boil people alive and drink their blood after they passed away. He cut off the skin of his enemy's feet, poured salt on them, and had his goats lick it off for fun. He enslaved people to build his impenetrable fortress until their clothes fell off and then they died, naked, from exhaustion. I don't think this guy had the ability to love, let alone maintain a regal marriage. It just doesn't make sense.

In the prologue of the film, Gary Oldman's Dracula goes off to battle after sensually making out with Winona Rider's version of his bride.  He goes off to battle in the Crusades and a false letter from the enemy informs Rider of Dracula's death. She promptly kills herself, and Dracula returns, enraged. He denounces God for which he was fighting, and stabs a cross with a sword. He claims that he will rise from the dead and defy God and live forever. This, apparently, is how one becomes a vampire?

The real Vlad Dracula never rose from the dead, or lived for hundreds of years. The origins of his malice matches up with the regional Romanian myths of blood-sucking, disease-spreading creatures before his time, and gave Bram Stoker enough material to create a frightening fictional villain. This , however, does not give Francis Ford Coppola license to make him a sex-driven, shape-shifting adulterer.

That being said, I have not finished the entire book. Is it possible for Dracula to give a long and telling monologue about his love for Mina at the end of the novel? Could this monologue include motivations and sex scenes that took place in platonic scenes I have already read? Could these scenes contradict Mina's most intimate diary accounts about seeing Dracula in a public place with her husband? Doubtful.

But I've been wrong before.

After this scene, the movie reflects the book almost to a T. The characters are cast perfectly (except for Keanu Reeves), and the cinematography is nothing short of breathtaking. The way Dracula's shadow reflects his true emotions while his body speaks otherwise is a very neat trick. Even Keanu couldn't ruin that part. Oldman delivers this heartbroken monster like only Oldman can, and makes Harker an understandably uncomfortable house guest.

The format of the book was displayed beautifully through scenes at telegraphs and typewriters with voice-overs for their diary entries. The horror scenes were filled with oceans of blood falling from the sky and dripping all over everyone. Van Helsing's nonchalance to the horrors that were happening before him was even more frightening. Everything was just as I had imagined it. The way the choppiness of the book was smoothed out in this film almost made me forgive Coppola for putting the love story in. Almost.

I understand that it is Hollywood, and you need to bring in as many people as possible. I also think that women are already going to see Dracula, because it is a sexy idea all by itself. I think they would have brought their husbands or boyfriends with them because it is a horror film, and everybody wins. For some reason, the legend of Dracula is the biggest female aphrodisiac this side of the Atlantic. No one needs him crying about finding his dead wife that happens to look like Winona Rider. He is supposed to be this smooth guy that can turn into smoke or a bat or anything he so desires, and suck your blood.

Maybe if Coppola hadn't put five pairs of naked breasts in this film for no reason, he wouldn't have to balance it out with a love story for the ladies. Or vise versa. Maybe he shouldn't have put this scene in the movie at all...

What the WHAT? 

Is that Dracula in the form of a werewolf having bestial sex with Mina's (whom he is so in love with) best friend? Is a scene like this even necessary if your goal is to make Dracula seem like an educated, sensitive, loving man who just ran into some eternal bad luck? I don't think so. I would much rather deal with looking at naked breasts for two hours, cut out the love story, and not have seen this part at all. The image of Dracula seems to change so drastically in this film, it is hard to root for him or be attracted to him at all. Gary Oldman's ridiculously slow and broken speech doesn't help either. It is like talking to a three year-old who is also eighty five.

Besides all of the weird sex, broken English, and Keanu Reeves, this film is pretty good. The feel of the story was the same, and the ensemble cast was one of the best I have watched. The general idea of Dracula reigns supreme, and all of his limitations and transformations were portrayed better than any vampire flick I have yet to see. I know I complained a lot about it, but if it's not broke.... don't fix it.

I give this movie a B+.

Namaste.

Building a Better Patronus

Lime Green, Acid Yellow, Black, Indigo, Light Green, Acid Yellow, White.

Newest Drawing... Beginning of a Harry Potter Series?

A New Chapter

Life is like a book series full of chapters.  Just recently I started a new chapter in what might be the second book of my life story. I attended the mandatory meeting for my Nursing Program at Ivy Tech. We discussed the books and other supplies we will need to complete our tasks, and it hit me.

This is my future. This is the rest of my life. Once the fall semester begins and I am in the thick of it, two years of nursing school will fly by and I will be done. I will be done with school and a crummy job where I do 80% of the work and get underpaid for it. I will just have to worry about one job, and not about school or finding a career anymore. I will be a nurse, and that is all.

What I am really looking forward to is not working during the weekends and going to school during the week. This way I can finally pursue my desire and audition for musical plays again. If I am not working on the weekends, I can perform in these plays and have a semi-normal life. I can earn money, help people, and follow my life's passion all at the same time.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves, this is all going to take time and determination. I need to focus and keep my head up for the next two years. Wish me luck.

Not Quite Morimoto

So I really don't have a knack for cooking. Tony is a vegetarian, and does the cooking, and I clean up the house. As fair as this non-nuclear arrangement seems, I wanted to break the mold. My original plans were to cook my way through an entire vegetarian cookbook like Julie and Julia, but things have gotten in the way.

Excessive overtime, physicals and paperwork to get into nursing school have officially made this the busiest summer since AIT. I feel like I haven't had time to sit down since school let out, and it's only going to get worse! But today, after running around town and paying my bills, I decided to make a mushroom appetizer. I had bought the ingredients the week before and knew what I had to do, I just had to find the damned time.

And here it is:

Juicy mushrooms that I enjoyed with a garlic mayonnaise. I gave this plate to Tony and he ate all of them. He said they tasted good, even after I asked for the absolute truth. Even though I am starting small, I want to start off right. I think I am going to be okay.

The Book of Eli

All I can say is WOW. This movie seems a realistic depiction of what could happen to the inhabitants of a post-apocalyptic world. Killing people for touching their cats, a sip of water, or even the meat on their bones are everyday obstacles one could face in this world.

Washington plays Eli, a walker who carries a precious book that the villainous Carnegie seeks. Few people in this world are as old as they are, and even fewer know how to read. The book Eli carries is the Holy Bible, and Carnegie kills and manipulates to get it into his own hands. His reasons behind it are the most shocking part of the whole plot. He says that if he speaks the words from the book, people will come from all over the world and do what he tells them to do. He claims that if he has the book, he can conquer more cities and eventually rule the world. He says that it has been done before, and he can do it again.

Besides the lack of ethics of the characters in this barren world, Eli keeps the faith. He is prepared to take this book to the West because a voice inside of him told him to do so. He reads the Bible every day and tries to live by it as much as he can.  That doesn't mean he won't cut off your hand if he has to, though. A man has to do what a man has to do, right?

The film ends in such an amazing way. Every scene has something deep and beautiful about it, and the conclusion is no different. I thought I was done with spiritual and heartwrenching media after LOST was over, but I guess I was wrong. The Book of Eli is definitely worth a watch.

Cinematic Immaturity

Vs.

While babysitting my 10 year-old nephew a few weeks ago, he and his friend presented me a question. Without any prompts, they asked me which was a better movie: The Mummy or Jurassic Park. I immediately thought to myself "How can I compare? They are both equally awesome!" When I told them that, they quickly corrected me and said that Jurassic Park was better. Ha. What did I know?

The sad thing about this conversation was the realization that I have the same taste in movies as a ten year-old boy. It's not that it was just my nephew who I could have passed traits onto, but his friend as well.  I have a very immature love of campy adventure flicks, and this experience only further proves that point. I was always made fun of for liking movies like that when I was a RottenTomatoes poster, but now I don't really care. I can put Jurassic Park or The Mummy on whenever I am feeling down, and they will always lift my spirits. I guess you could say I am just young at heart. And I think that's a good thing.

The Movie Better Be Awesome

So in lieu of my failed attempt to retrieve childhood memories through Orpheo's Curse, I decided to buy a new computer game. I am on summer break right now and am waiting for the Nursing Program to start in the fall. I figured I could use a good challenge.

I drove over to Best Buy a few days after classes got out, and looked through the selection of games for PCs. There were Jonas Brothers Camp Rock games that I clearly wanted to save for later, stupid strategy games my dad plays, and other game styles that clearly didn't interest me. I wanted a point-and-click adventure game with puzzles and an intriguing storyline. I wanted something to keep me busy and haunt my dreams for the entire summer while I tried to navigate around a scary atmosphere and talk to strange characters.

I stumbled upon the game Shutter Island for MAC and PC. I hadn't seen the movie, and always like the feeling of elitism when I watch a movie like "I've been there before", or "this is different than the game". The previews were good enough. It had a creepy and beautiful visual quality to it, so I gave it a chance. It was rated T and up. The rating is important, because I figure that it would be a little more difficult if it was for both teenagers and adults. Ha.

I installed the game while Tony was in class, and started playing it. The imagery is very spooky, but you have to spend all of your time finding objects hidden inside other weird objects before you can do anything else. You are playing as Leonardo DiCaprio's Detective character, and your interactions with the other people are less than satisfactory. I mean, even old shitty games I played when I was younger had animated characters talking to you. In this game they just have a picture of a character and script next to them. They don't even have voice-overs! What the hell? Why put up a picture of Ben Kingsly if we can't even.... ugh.


When you aren't talking to mute pictures of people, you have to run around the asylum and look for things. You get to fix a generator and solve a few mini-games (which I enjoyed), but it all seemed too easy. Instead of letting you run around aimlessly to find things, you only had one or two options as to where you could go. It was like they were holding my hand the entire time, telling me which way to go. I ended up beating this game in two days. TWO DAYS! And I am no gamer.

I'd like to think of myself as an intelligent person, but I think this game was a little too easy. I think they could have put a lot more effort into the characters and layout of the island, and put up a few more road blocks. I understand they don't want to give away too much of the plot so they can plug the movie, but come on.

All in all, this game did what it aimed to do.... made me want to watch the movie. It teased me enough to get me spooked and intrigued in the character and storyline. I just saw a preview for the movie coming out on DVD this week and I just might buy it. That being said, it would be nice to have a little more challenging "adventure" game.

Musical Medicine

Raindrops on roses, whiskers in kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with string; these are a few of my favorite things.

Every time I get into my car the radio blasts me with old songs from the 1990's, breathy male vocals, or raps with the music from the 1990's songs in the background. I always switch back and forth between these stations, hoping to hear something better, something different. Maybe I am old-fashioned, but it seems like if the vocals and melody aren't formulaic, then the lyrics are bound to be. Every song is about love and heartbreak and sex. People rhyme over art that isn't their own, and younger generations are none the wiser. It's a damned tragedy.

I remember a few years ago when I used to be so inspired by music. I would listen to the lyrics and feel like they were talking to me. I would hear new styles of music that made me want to go out and see these bands live. Fast and slow, hard and soft, sweet and aggressive; it was all there. But now.... ugh. I looked through my iPod the other day and realized that all of those things were just a phase, a passing fad. Half of what I held so near and dear to my heart I can't stand to listen to anymore. Bands I'd paid money to see just weren't worth the time anymore. I deleted them from my iTunes, and made room for new music.

The only problem? There is no new music. Everything out there sounds just like all the stupid bullshit music I listened to three years ago when I was drunk and confused and "finding myself". Was that music only good because I was impressionable? Is music these days only geared to the teenagers of America? Yes, and Yes. I know there are demographics industries need to meet, but it is just so depressing to feel like nothing is original any more. I mean Jay-Z rapped over Chris Martin covering "Forever Young". "Forever Young"! Are you kidding me? And don't even get me started on Jason Deroulo and Imogen Heap. Ugh.

What has gotten me through this hard period of enlightenment is one thing. The timelessness of show tunes. I know what you are thinking... show tunes are gay, or campy, and unrealistic. And I couldn't agree more. You don't see show tunes taking an older show tune and rapping over it and calling it the new wheel, do you? You don't get show tunes stuck in your head even though it has the intellectual eqivalent to crack cocaine.

Show tunes tell a story. They are the original ballad, and take you away to a character's pain, love, struggle, or even death. They are timeless masterpieces that are not formulaic in the slightest, and have finally come back into the main stream. Thank God for Glee. I almost forgot how happy singing and listening to Broadway musicals made me feel. How calm and jubilant my face becomes when a story is fleshed out into sing song.

If things were different I would be auditioning regularly in the theater as we speak. I would be singing until my heart's content. But I work weekends and am expecting to get into nursing school, so this dream of mine might have to wait.

Until then, however, I will listen and sing. If anyone reads this, I beg of you to give show tunes a chance and see if they touch you the way they have touched me.

Namaste

Training

So this past week was a lot more successful than last week. We started off running 4 slow miles on Monday, speed drills Tuesdays and Thursdays, and a fast three miles on Friday. Wednesdays are optional, and Tony worked an extra 10 hours, so we decided to opt out.

I actually feel like I am getting better; like I am getting faster. I still hate running, but I feel like I hate it less. My speed drills are getting shorter and I am slowing down less. I think this gradual training program might actually work. I think I could actually do this half marathon thing after all!

Plus, I ran into two people I haven't seen in a long time and they both said I looked skinny and grown-up. Who knew? I have always been frumpy and dressed like a college student. My few adjustments to my wardrobe and hard work-out are paying off. I have even lost 5 pounds already!
Let's hope I keep it up!

Namaste

"The End" of an Era

I had written an entire entry with my usual sections for this finale, and realized that it just didn't work. I'm not going to dissect this episode, but rather reflect on it as the ending of an entire series.

This series ended well. We find out the use for Desmond, and watch Jack kill Smokey. Jack passes his duties on to Hurley and dies as the rest of our heroes fly off the island with Lapidus and his plane.

In the flash sideways, we realize that it was not a world where the bomb went off, but a purgatorial state they had all prepared for each other. Christian tells Jack that the people in the church were those who died before and long after him. He said that they were all waiting for each other to move on, or to let go. He says that everyone dies, and that all that matters is the time he spent with these people.

This pissed a lot of people off. Most people don't like religion, or spirituality. But if you haven't figured out that's what LOST is about after 6 years of watching it, you clearly have much bigger problems. The set was chosen very carefully, for it had symbols from every religion known to man, and alluded to neither of them. The whole premise of LOST has been about having faith, and believing that things happen for a reason. Though several of the burning questions about the island did not get answered, the purpose of the show was fleshed out perfectly.

To me, the Island represents your life. Or in this case, Jack Shephard's life. Life is a series of tests and choices. You meet several people from different walks of life, get presented with opportunities, and how you deal with them makes you the person you are in the end. That is why John Locke was one of the main characters' names in this show. John Locke was a free thinker who believed that everyone was born with a clean slate, and that their experiences in life make them good, bad, or in between. His way of thinking was the middle ground between Jacob and the Man In Black's where people are born either all good or all bad.

In real life, you encounter several things you don't understand, or people you may randomly be related to that will never get resolved or answered. People don't often tell you why they do things, and you may not know why things turned out the way they did; this show is no different. LOST doesn't follow most television formulas, so you might not find out an answer for five years, or even at all. Life is full of mysteries, and so is LOST. Get over it.

This episode was very heartbreaking. Seeing everyone reunite with each other and their memories had me in tears almost the entire two and a half hours. Sawyer and Juliet in particular really tugged at my heart strings. I was so glad to see her return as David's mother and to hold James again.

What I really liked that I didn't expect was Hurley inheriting the island and asking Ben to be his number two. I mean, of all the people in the entire series to put together to run the island! Ben and Hugo? But I digress. Their opposites make them attract in a way that was very sweet when they were nursing Desmond back to health. Ben telling Hurley he could change things about who leaves the island and how it was run was very endearing. Oh yeah, and he saved his life from a falling tree only minutes before. I can only imagine the years gone by with those two eating fish for breakfast on the beach, watching people being brought to the island.

Jack's giving personality made it easy for Hurley to take on the responsibility of the island. It also made it easy for him to give up his own life, and to break the heart of thousands of Americans (including myself) when he finally laid himself to rest. What a powerful scene! He lays down in the bamboo forest and sees Vincent running towards him as the plane successfully leaves the island. His friends are safe, his job is done, his purpose is fulfilled. He smiles as the color leaves his face, and his eyes close shut.

What powerful imagery! What a way to garuntee there wouldn't be a dry seat in the house! What a way to come full circle from the pilot episode, and just rip your heart out as the Karma Wheel has reached its end with our beloved spinal surgeon.


This series has been with me since I was a senior in high school. I started out watching it when I was 18 and am now 24. For the most imperative adolescent years of my life, where I am supposed to "find myself", I found myself LOST, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Namaste.

Orpheo's Curse, Indeed!

I've learned the hard way that you can't always buy your favorite childhood toy and enjoy it like you used to. In my case, it's not that when I played with this toy I didn't like it, but that the toy didn't work!

I had a little extra cash and decided to buy the computer game my sister and brother used to play when we were kids... Are You Afraid Of The Dark: The Tale of Orpheo's Curse. I called my sister ahead of time to tell her that it was coming in the mail and we were both excited about it. We reminisced about all of the hours spent trying to figure out the puzzles and mysteries when we were tweens only to be severely let down.

I opened the CD which was in mint condition, popped it in the PC and found out it was too old to run! The computer didn't even recognize it as a disc, it was so ancient. My sister and I searched far and wide in the internet for options to try and run this thing. We even downloaded something called a DOS-BOX that potentially makes your new computer perform like one from 1995. Needless to say, none of these attempts worked, and we were stuck with a useless piece of metal and broken hearts. The adventures we shared with Orpheo and his curse will remain only in our memories, and random snipits on YouTube.

So, buyer: Beware! If you think your favorite game from the past can still be played; make sure it is a board game or something other than a CD-ROM.

Namaste

LOST Feedback!

Jorge Garcia is the best! I sent him the original drawing I did of Hurley, and only a few weeks later he sent me this! He even wrote my name on it and everything. I feel like a little girl again.
He also sent me a print of Damon Carlton and a Polar Bear, which I thought was a nice touch. Hooray!

What They Died For

Highlights:

In the flash sideways, Jack wakes up with another weird cut on his neck. He eats breakfast with David who mentions his concert tonight. Jack asks if his mom is going to be there and he says Yes. Maybe we'll find out who she is in the finale? Wishful thinking, I know.


Claire wakes up and joins them. I guess she wasn't too freaked out by his offer after all.

We cut to Sawyer and Miles, and Miles is getting ready for "the big musical benefit at his father's museum he's been talking about for months now". Kate and Sayid are locked up there, biding their time.

Desmond lurks around at Locke's school again and beats up Ben Linus after he approaches him. It's only after taking a beating and hearing that Desmond was "trying to make him see" that he sees his past life.

Desmond turns himself in and gets acquainted with Kate and Sayid.

Ben gets patched up and Alex helps him with his keys and bags. She insists her mother drive him home. He ends up having dinner with them. Danielle and Benjamin share longing and emotional glances with each other. She tells him he is the closest thing to a father Alex has ever had. Ben weeps like a child and sniffles.

Back at the jail, the three convicts are being moved to County, and Desmond convinces them to go along with his plan to free them. The van stops and Ana Lucia lets them out. Hurley arrives with an envelope full of cash and takes Sayid with him. Desmond takes Kate and says "We're going to a concert."

On the island...

Jack sews Kate up, and they go on their merry way to find Desmond while Sawyer realizes it was his fault that everyone died.

Ben, Richard, and Miles go to Ben's house to get C-4 to blow up the plane. Widmore is there and tells them he's already rigged it.

Miles leaves in fear of Smokey, Ben stays, and Richard attempts to "talk" to him but only ends up getting tossed into the trees.


Ben allies with Smokey and tells him where Widmore is.

Smokey kills Tina Fey. Smokey tells Widmore to tell him how he got to the island, and he'll let his daughter live. Widmore begins to whisper something, and Ben shoots him dead. He says "His daughter doesn't get to live", or something like that.

And just like that, Ben the Bastard is back.

Hurley runs into the child version of Jacob and gives him the ashes he took from Ilana. How he managed to keep them dry, or keep them at all after the submarine incident is beyond me, but this is LOST, so I will go with it.

Young Jacob runs away and Hurley follows. A suddenly adult Jacob is sitting by a fire. Jacob tells Hurley that his ashes are in the fire, and once the fire goes out, he will never be able to appear to him again. He tells him to get all of his friends.

Night falls and Jack, Sawyer, and Kate follow Hurley to Jacob's fire. Jacob addresses them all, and all of them can finally see him! Jacob tells them his time is up, and that one of them has to take his place.

We find out that Kate's name was crossed off because she became a mother. We find out that they were all brought here because they were broken and alone. We find out that Jack volunteers for the job.

Shazam! I knew he was the one. I knew it. In your faces, Desmond fans.

Jack has always been the one to say he is broken without the island. He has always been the leader. He has always been the one who put the most work into saving everyone, and, who most of all, has changed the most as a person in these past 6 years. Even his name, Shephard (though spelled differently) signifies his destiny to lead. His tattoos read "He walks among us, but is not one of us." If that is what they say, and not what they mean, then they mean that he is the new Jacob, the Guardian of the island.

He asks how long he has to do the job for. Jacob replies "As long as you can."

He then tells him where the heart of the island is, and to protect it. He says it is beyond the bamboo fields where he first landed in the pilot episode. Jack says there is nothing beyond those fields. Jacob says that there is. It's time for the showdown.

Meawhile, Smokey tells Ben he can have the island all to himself if he kills people for him. They go to find Desmond to kill him. Widmore said he is a fail-safe if all of the other candidates are dead.

But Desmond is gone! The well is empty and a rope is dangling from the top!

Special/Key Moments:

Seeing Richard again was nice. Seeing him promptly get thrown around by the smoke monster, however..... not so much.

I liked Ben getting his balls back even though part of me loves that he can be a soft little kitten when the occasion calls for it. He's so stoic and "What now, Smokey?" in this episode. It parallels perfectly with the sniveling idiot he's become in the LA verse around Alex and Danielle.

I like seeing Jack with his son, and Claire spending the night with them. These two characters have never had this cameradery with a sibling before, and seem to be extremely happy.

I like that David mentions Jack being "weird" around his mother. I like that he says that she will be at the concert. I like that I better get to find out who she is by the end of this show, and if it isn't Juliet, I am going to be so pissed.

John Locke approaching Jack in his office and pitching the idea of Fate to him was beautiful. The old Locke has finally come back to us, and brought his amazing sense of faith along with him. Terry O'Quinn never ceases to amaze me.

Jacob blessing the water before Jack drank it was beautiful. Just like in last week's episode, the nodd to Christian communion is obvious here. The wine from mother to Jacob, and now the water from Jacob to Jack. Water to wine analogy? Maybe. Maybe not.

I liked seeing Smokey slit Zoey's throat. Whoa, that was brutal.

And I just like seeing Jacob.

Theories/Speculations/Questions:

Is Smokey Jacob's brother, just filled with rage and Smokified? Is smokey an entity that has always been there, but takes on certain people's thoughts and likeness to manipulate the guardian and/or candidates?

Did Widmore lie to Smokey? Is Desmond really a fail-safe guardian? Or is he the destruction of Smokey and the island if he takes the light?

Is Richard dead?

Why is Miles still alive?

Will Kate leave Jack alone now?

Where are Rose and Bernard?

Will there be an epic dance party at the end of this series finale?

Hold on to your butts.

Rain Training

I have always had a love-hate relationship with running. Today was no different.

Tony has decided to start training for the Fort Wayne Half Marathon in the fall. I, reluctantly, have decided to join him in this amazing feat. I don't know why necessarily, but it seems like a good idea. I can't run very fast right now, but am sure I will get down to a respectable time where 13 miles can be completed in a decent stint.

JFK once said "We do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard." Those are my words to live by this summer. When I am running hard and hate my life, I need to think of John and his words of wisdom. Even though it will be a tremendous struggle (since this really wasn't my idea in the first place), I will try my hardest to reach my goal. I need to kick myself in the ass when I am lazy, and never quit.

Wish me luck.
Namaste.

Mother's Day

Who knew it was a time that I would spend too much money on pedicures I would quickly ruin with my sandals, and tell my mother about all of my underlying resentment as a child? I sure didn't.
Happy Mother's Day, everyone!

Across the Sea

Highlights:

We find out that Jacob and MIB are twins.

Allison Janney kills their birth mother and raises them. She has been there forever.

MIB is favored and more rebellious, a game with black and white stones is played throughout the episode (and the series). Mother supposedly left the game for MIB to find and play.

MIB's dead mom appears to him, and shows him the other people from her ship, and tells him to go with them.

Mother says they are evil, and gives them the EXACT same spiel MIB gives to Jacob in the Season 5 Finale.

Mother shows them the Heart Of The Island. It is a stream leading into a cave with a light inside. She says all men have a little bit inside of them, but always want more. Her job is to protect that light, and make sure no one takes it.


MIB listens to his dead mother and lives with the Others. He grows up with them while Jacob stays with his mother. Jacob visits him regularly, and MIB reveals that these people are greedy, selfish, and untrustworthy.

MIB wants more than anything to get off the island. His dead mother told him there are many things across the sea, and his new mother had lied to him. He searches for the light his mother showed him as a boy at the end of the stream. He finds electromagnetic pockets instead, and digs wells. He builds the Dharma wheel and shows his mother the light on the other side of the wall. He says the wheel connects the light with the water and can get him off of the island.

His mother knocks him out, drags him up the well, fills the well, and burns his whole village to the ground.


Meanwhile, she tells Jacob he is special and is meant to take her place as guardian of the island. Jacob is reluctant, jealous, and immature, but eventually accepts. He drinks a cup of wine in front of the Light Cave and is now the guardian.

Mother returns to the caves while Jacob gets firewood. MIB is waiting for her and kills her. She says "Thank you" before dying. Jacob comes home and beats MIB up.

Jacob takes his brother to the stream. He recalls his mother telling him that if he were to go in there, he would not die. But a fate much worse than this would occur. He knocks his brother out and sends him into the light.

He does this and the smoke monster emerges from the cave like a giant smokey roller coaster. It spits Jacob's brother's body out, and Jacob weeps. Jacob carries his body back to the caves, and stages his body with his mothers for Jack and Kate to find centuries later.


Special/Key Moments:

Allison Janney, ladies and gentleman!


Anyone notice the phrase she said to Jacob? "It has to be you." That is the same phrase Sayid said to Jack before he sacrificed himself. Jack will replace Jacob. I just know it.

I liked that the ritual for Jacob to become guardian of the island, or the light, or whatever, was completed with wine. She says to him, "Drink this cup... now you and I are the same." Very symbolic of the Christian's First Communion ceremony, when they drink Christ's blood for the first time, the are one with the body of Christ; or so it is believed.

Seeing Jacob grow up not only as a child, but in his adult form was interesting. He was a bit of a hot mess when he killed his brother. He was jealous of his mother's love for his brother, and got frustrated when she only gave him vague answers about the island. It makes him seem a little less cryptic, and a lot more like one of us.


The Man in Black's story seemed very Darth Vader. On purpose?

We found out where the wheel came from and why it was used in that way.

We got to see what the big deal about the island was, and how the smoke monster was created.

We were pretty much proven that the kid that appears the Man In Black is a child version of Jacob. Phew. Another one put to rest.

MIB told Jacob that maybe one day he can create his own game and create the rules for that. This clearly sets up bringing Richard and several others to the island.

I liked how the tapestry-making began with Mother. That was a nice touch.

We got to see MIB in a muscle shirt doing hard labor:)


We still don't know MIB's name! I think it's just something I have to accept, and move on. Have you ever read the book Rebecca? The author goes the entire book without telling you the name of the main character. Rebecca is the name of the protagonist's husband's dead wife, not the main character, so you are always stuck with phrases like "...he called my name" or "it was labeled for me" or some other crazy bullshit. This episode was no different. Jacob and his mother danced around his name like a gay man would around Pamela Anderson. "My love" and "Brother" were used so much I wanted to rip my hair out!

I guess giving a simple human name to something so ominous at this point might seem trivial. Even giving him the name of Jacob's brother might be inappropriate to the audience as well. The devil claims to have many names, and I think the writers are trying to portray a similar theme with the Man In Black.

I really liked the end of this episode and how they incorporated footage from Season 1 into it. Jacob laying MIB's body next to his Mothers and crossing their arms as Jack finds them was beautiful. Jacob putting the white and black stones in the sack as Jack does the same was very nice too. I had forgotten that Locke was the one who finds them and states "Our very own Adam and Eve".


Which brings me to.....

Theories/Speculations/Questions:

Guess I'm not done with this section, after all. Jeez.

Jacob's mother tells the boys that this cave with light in it is what she is there to guard. She says that there is some inside of every man, but he always wants more. She says that if anyone tries to get more, it, and all of it in the world will be gone. It is the one thing that is forbidden. One thing that must be protected and not be used for oneself. It is representative, in fact, of the Forbidden Fruit in the Garden of Eden, or Pandora's Box. It is the one thing, that when touched or meddled with, releases intense evil into all of the land.

It's not really meant to be your Bible story parallel, though. That is why this episode was so gosh-darned vague. This island is supposed to be the birthplace of evil. Ground zero for the battle of right and wrong, good and evil, all that jazz. Jacob and MIB were classic Cane and Abel. His jealousy over his brother, channeling other ancient cultural stories, made him make a bad choice. It made him turn that light into darkness. It made that darkness turn into pure, unadulterated smokey badness. But here's the thing. Although the evil is there, the good still exists. The light is still at the end of the tunnel; it is only hidden. One has to dig and find it.

Here are my questions:

Is the light kinetic or potential energy if it can help MIB off the island? Is it goodness? Is it a supreme being? Is it love? It is electromagnetic time-travel plutonium that could fuel my Delorian?

If every man wants more of it, could it be Knowledge, and therefore alluding even more to the Forbidden Fruit? Could Jacob and the world just not see the monster until he hurt his brother, just like Adam and Eve did't know they were naked until they ate the fruit?

Is the Smoke pure evil? If it is related to the light, is it pure power? Animalistic power or rage or something?

How is MIB seeing his dead mother if the smoke monster hasn't even been released yet? Is he mentally ill? Is he special as his mother told him? Is that how he "just knows" things like the rules of the game his mother planted for him? Does he have psychopathy?

If their mother made it so they could never hurt each other, how did Jacob knock MIB out? Is it just that he can't kill him?


Why can't MIB leave the island, but Jacob has made several trips? Why did they make it a point, just to fuck with us to see if we caught on that he was really dead? I mean, he is dead. And so is Sayid. Deal with it.

So, let me get this straight: there is still good in the world and on the island. There is also bad. The smoke monster takes on the visage of dead bodies. He also takes on their memories and knowledge. His first visage was of MIB. So he really has no name, even if MIB had a name in the beginning. Unless he meets Desmond, and then his name actually will become "Brotha".

I think this is all that we'll get as far as smokey. I hope I am wrong. Only two more episodes left. Can't wait to make my Dharma cookies for the Finale.

Namaste.

The Candidate

I found myself crying once, and clapping twice during this episode. It's about time this show started stirring up my emotions again.

Highlights:

Jack offers a surgery to get John Locke to walk again. John refuses.

Jack investigates and runs into Bernard who gives him Anthony Cooper's name. Anthony Cooper was in the accident with John, and looks a lot different in this reality.

Jack meets up with Claire at the hospital, and look at a music box Christian left her in his will. It plays "Catch a Falling Star", the song Kate and Claire often sing to Aaron in the original time line.
Jack offers to put Claire up, but she seems to be weirded out.

John Locke tells him that he got his flying license and took his father up with him. He said that he is the reason he can't move or speak anymore, and doesn't deserve to walk. He delivers an amazingly emotional performance, per usual.

Jack tells him he can save him. Then he says those fateful words: "I wish you would believe me."

On le island, Jack, Sayid, and Smokey ruin Widmore's camp and free the Candidates from their cage.

Sawyer tells Kate she isn't important because her name was crossed off already. Thanks God.

Locke leads them o the airplane, and Jack still refuses to leave with them.


Locke finds a bomb on the plane planted by Widmore, and tells them he wanted them all together so they could all die at once. He tells them they need to leave via submarine.

Sawyer and Jack get in cahoots together about distracting smokey and leaving him on the island.

Before they get on the sub, Kate gets shot, (first time I clapped), Jack brings her on board, and Claire and Smokey get left behind.

Claire gets upset when they leave, but Smokey reassures her she doesn't want to be on the sub.

Jack looks in his back pack to find a bomb planted by Smokey. He believes that if they do nothing, they will be fine. He says that he can't kill them because they are Candidates, but if they mess with it, they will be killing each other.

Sawyer and him fight (per usual) and he takes the wires out. The bomb starts ticking faster.

Sayid grabs Jack and tells him about Desmond being alive in the well. He tells him "It has to be you." before grabbing the bomb, running to the other end of the sub, and exploding himself for the sake of the others. This was the second time I clapped.


Lapidus gets hit with a flying door, Sayid is obviously dead, Hurley takes Kate to shore, Sawyer gets knocked out, and Sun is trapped under some pipes.

Jack takes Sawyer to shore, and Jin stays with Sun even though he knows she is going to die. She tells him to save himself, but he tells her he will never leave her again. This was the part where I cried.

Jack returns to the shore, brings Sawyer back to life, and tells Hurley and Kate about Jin and Sun. Everyone cries.

Claire freaks out that everyone is dead. Smokey says not everyone is dead. He says he must finish what he started. Damnit.

Special/Key Moments:

Jack's determination to do the right thing and take initiative (no pun intended) is compelling. The fact that he cares so much about John Locke to try and save his legs, and put Claire up in his own place really shows his true colors. I've never loved Jack Shephard more than I do in this episode.


I also really like his John Locke-ness and how it grows stronger each episode. The whole bomb debate he had with Sawyer was very John Locke vs. Desmond Hume over The Button in Season 2. If we do nothing, nothing will happen. Only in Season 2, John Locke was wrong. And now, I think Jack was right. If Sawyer hadn't have removed those wires, they would have been just fine.

But we can't turn back the clock. Even on LOST. Well, not to the exact moment we want, anyways.

I was really happy to see Sayid take one for the team and sacrifice himself. I could write something racially and culturally ignorant here, but I know that I am ignorant when it comes to most cultures, so I will refrain. Sayid's act was done based on his moral character, and not his cultural upbringing. He was a wonderful character and will be truly missed. God speed, Sayid Jarrah. God speed.

I never thought we would have this many deaths in one episode. I mean, I really wasn't emotionally prepared for it. Jin and Sun? What the hell? It was so sad. Very Titanic. The way that Jin stayed with her until the end was so beautiful. The way he told her he would never leave her again was heartbreaking. What really cooked my noodle was the imagery at the end of the episode of their hands holding in the water, and then slowly drifting apart. My tears were pretty intense at that point.


There wasn't a dry seat in the house.

I really liked that Kate got shot, but was mad that much better characters died in her stead. Ugh.

I liked that Jack told John Locke "I wish you would believe me." in the flash sideways. Those were the words John Locke wrote to Jack in his suicide note. Fricking irony, huh?

Seeing Terry O'Quinn play the real John Locke is always a treat. Getting to see him be with Helen and be happy is also a plus. The two of them together are a great couple, and seeing her take care of Anthony Cooper was the icing on the cake. These people would do anything for each other.

Terry's explanation of his accident to Jack was wonderful and bittersweet. We haven't seen Locke have a scene like this in so long. It made me very happy, especially since Sun and Jin and Sayid just died.

I liked knowing that Sayid never let the darkness fully overcome him.

I like that everything is simplified now. There are only 3 candidates left. Hurley, Sawyer, and Jack. We need Hurley to talk to Jacob. We need Kate to fuck up the chances of Jack and Sawyer making any sense together. So, naturally, we have the formula for a very dramatic finale. What I can't wait to see is what Ben, Miles, and Richard have been up to. I am sure we will see them next week. I really hope so, anyways. The preview showed a lot of Man in Black and Jacob. Those usually include Richard, so who knows.

I am not going to do anymore theory sections because it is too close to change any of my previous theories. I am still going strong with my Jack support to the bitter end. I believe in him, and right now, he believes in himself. ...Even if he is a cry baby.

But seriously, somebody give Matthew Fox a damned Emmy.

The Departed:

Jin-Soo Kwon

Sun-Hwa Kwon

Sayid Jarrah

Frank Lapidus (Unconfirmed, but I am going to go out on a limb here and say he is dead.)

You are LOST, but not forgotten.